For as long as I remember, I’ve known who the Beatles were. My mom played one of their many albums as she cleaned up the house, and every time one of the cover bands played at the Oasis or the Nutty Brown Cafe, you could see my family, little sisters and all, dancing along to the beat of Come Together. Even though it's 50 years after the Beatles began as a band, they are just as popular.
Lead Two: Direct Address
If you walked around a high school for a moment, you’d probably see merchandise for artists like “J-Biebs”, Lady GaGa, and Usher. But one band that has started popping up on teens is the Fab Four, or the Beatles. Since the 60’s, they’ve been rocking the musical world for everyone.
Lead Three: Twist
The Beatles have been around since the early 60’s, and some people argue that their age has made them less valid in the modern musical world. But if you look at music today, they are not only still popular but influential.
Lead 1 check grammar/ sentence flow.
ReplyDelete"...that has started popping up on teens..." Huh?
Check grammar in lead 3.
My grammar sucks so... see for yourself
Lead one doesn't tell me your opinion, or offer an interesting hook that tells me why I should keep reading.
ReplyDeleteLead two is kind of Kelly Clarkson's third album: it doesn't quite have a direction. You say that a band has started popping up on teens, but they've been around since the 60's? Just as in lead one, you might want to focus more on your point, or a hook that makes me want to keep reading.
Lead three is probably the most focused and direct, and in my opinion, the best, because you just get out there and state your opinion. You might want to include more details, a la lead one, for example: "If you look at music today, they are not only still popular but influential. Just look at P. Diddy's new song 'Song' which samples the Beatles' classic harmony 'Strawberry Fields Forever.'" This might go towards showing evidence that proves your point, which is the general idea of the opinion piece.
-Ishaan Golding
-I.G.
I like one the best.
ReplyDelete- Fly on the Wall
I like lead #1 the best because it provides the most imagery for the reader, but I think you could combine parts of lead #3 with it to lend more direction and focus.
ReplyDelete