JSYK, J Biebs hates Uggs.

So as I was looking at the dashboard thing on blogger,  I saw how many posts we had posted.

And I giggled. I'm sorry, I'm just too immature.

I mean, 63 is just such a funny number! It's 9x7!

ANYWAYS, I'm pretty sure I already have a blog post for this week because I posted on last week and we didn't have to post one last week, but I'm doing ANOTHER! Yay. And it also happens to concern Facebook like pages. However, this concerns real people and real relationships!

...Or, how people on Facebook would define them, actually. Here is a post that has almost 19,000 likes:

Some girls paint their nails, watch chick flicks while counting carbs but they're fake
The real girls watch their fav tv show pig out on food lounge in sweats w/ an old t-shirt and dance like idiots to their fav song
Like if you're a real girl 

The first time I saw this, I was all raging and I went and posted it on this website that I read to get my anger out. However, it's still stupid. So if I happen to like The Notebook or A Walk to Remember (and I do love both of those), I'm not a real girl?  Or if I like to have colorful nails, I'm obviously fake? And what about those diabetic teens, huh?! Are they not real girls either because they count their carbs so they don't, I don't know, DIE?! I'm pretty sure they're all girls because they don't have an SRY gene (or a working one, if they happen to be one of those girls with an Y chromosome that just broke).

Then there's being a real girl. You know, sometimes, pigging out on food can make you feel gross. I know when I eat too much junk, I feel like I need to go eat a salad. Most of my friends prefer jeans to sweats (Facebook stalking when they posted those little notes about themselves that everyone fills out and one of the questions was jeans vs sweats? Not at all), and I know I don't even OWN any really old shirts.


Moral of the story: If you have two X chromosomes, you're a girl. So shut up.


And now, for another post that annoys me:

Having guy friends! No drama, no betrayal, no jealousy, they're much more entertaining, and they're straight up. They're like your brothers, and got your back, instead of stabbin you in it.

If you're having all those problems with girl friends, then you're doing something wrong. That's all I'd like to say. 


There are also a bunch of posts about boy/girl scenarios where one of them starts talking in a different language, then they get dumped because the other person thought they said something mean or some crap like that.


(Yeah, can't find any at the moment, but I shall update later!)


If someone started telling you something in another language, you would ask "What does that mean?" not say, "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU."


I also found the reverse.

nerd: hi
girl:um hey
nerd: i really really like u and um will u go out with me pls pls pls
girl:bumsen Sie
nerd: i'll take it as yes!
girl:*face palm* gehen Sie verzögert Verlierer get a life werde ich nie will mit dir gesehen werden, und wenn u sagen etwas anderes will ich haben u ​​ermordet, weil ich arbeite in einem großen Mafia und meine Jungs kommen und u ok!
nerd: see u at 7:00 tomorrow night for our date!
girl:bye bye
* google translate german to english* 

If I were that nerd, I would, I dunno, TRANSLATE IT because... are there any other ways for me to say how stupid this is? Also, I'd take the words "get a life" and "Mafia" as a no. 

And then... we have the ever so popular "A perfect guy..." posts. Here's one example:

A Perfect Boyfriend
give her your hoodie even if you go to different schools
give her a big t-shirt of yours to sleep in
leave her cute messages
kiss her in front of your friends
tell her she looks beautiful
look into her eyes when you talk to her
let her mess with your hair
just walk around with her
forgive her for her mistakes
hold her hand when you're around your friends AND in private.
let her fall asleep in your arms.
stay up all night with her when she's sick
watch her favorite movie with her
come up and grab her by the waist... 

Here are my issues with this post:
1) I feel really bad for guys. They must always be freezing. Some girls really need to understand that guys aren't made of fire. I've been given a jacket before by a boyfriend, and it's not that big of a deal, guys. Sure, it's nice because I get cold very easily, but you NEED TO GIVE IT BACK, GOSH DARNIT.
2) Why would you give her a t-shirt? Doesn't she have her own?
3) Kissing in front of your friends is so awkward. I know I would never want to be around my friends while they're making out with guys. 
4) If someone came and grabbed my waist, I'd probably freak out and start screaming.
5) The main thing is that everyone is different. Girls who write these give these crazy weird/high expectations for guys that that not every girl wants. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL UNIQUE AND BEAUTFUL IN OUR OWN WAYS. MY SECRET IS THAT I'M 15 AND I HAVE A TEDDY BEAR.


...Sorry, I'm also reading SBS and getting annoyed with those posts too. 


And one more, because I'm tired of looking at stupid posts:

10 things a typical teenage girl can't live without...
1. A Mobile Phone
2. A Laptop or Computer with internet access
3. Headphones
4. A Warm Hoodie
5. Music
6. A pair of Uggs
7. Sleep
8. Unlimited Texts
9. Hair Straighteners
10. Reality TV
Like this if you can't live without at least one of these things!!

 NO ONE CAN LIVE WITHOUT SLEEP. OH MY GOD.

Also, your boy J Biebs thinks Uggs are ugly.

- EJE, who is annoying and will probably rant about Six Billion Secrets next week.

*edit from a few days later*

I just saw this on a Facebook like page... and I was confused:

some teens are out having sex, partying, doing drugs, drinking, but like this if your the teen at home, on facebook, listening to your ipod, sleeping

How the hell are you on Facebook, reading/possibly liking this page IF YOU'RE ASLEEP?!?!?!

What? EJE is writing her blog post ALREADY?! Yes. TOO. MUCH. POETRY.

When I go to the library, I pretty much just pick a shelf in the teen section (yes, I read YA books. So sue me.) and start grabbing books off it, then get a classic to top it all off. So yesterday, I went to the library and grabbed 3 books: one of those hideous books where the mother dies (yes, all lowercase), Glimpse, and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. But as it turns out, the first two are written in that Ellen Hopkins style poetry.

Okay, I understand it for the Ellen Hopkins books and Glimpse (a story of a girl whose sister tries to commit suicide and ends up in a hospital while her mom continues to be a prostitute. I liked it.) are poems and only have a few words per line (not sentence). These books deal with heavy stuff: drugs, suicide, prostitution, etc. But the first book, one of those hideous books where the mother dies?! I picked it up because of the title, but it was just about this 15 year old who goes to live with her dad in California who she hates because she thinks he abandoned her at birth. But no, she has to whine that she has her dream room and a dad who loves her and lives in a mansion with Cameron Diaz as her neighbor. She annoyed the hell out of me. Also, the book was incredibly short, and even too short for my attention span. I have a hard time getting into those classics with the weird language (See: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He talks funny.) and other slow-starting books because my attention span is too short and if something doesn't draw me in automatically, I can't read it. That's why it took me so long to read Harry Potter, the beginning of the first book is too slow. However, this book was way too short and took like an hour and a half to read. I'm not even kidding.

So, yeah. I wish authors that aren't going to write incredibly heavy material wouldn't use that poetry form. It's a total cop-out, since you barely have to do any describing.

Also, books that I would recommend if you like books about death and crap like that:
• Impulse by Ellen Hopkins: This is a really good book. I hate her stuff about drugs and the one about prostitution, but this was truly a good book. It's about three teens who end up in an insane asylum together after all attempted suicides.
• Glimpse by Carol Lynch Williams: Hope and Lizzie are sisters, and only a year apart. But when Lizzie tries to kill herself and Hope realizes her mom is a total bitch and caused everything... well, it's a good book.

• Unwind by Neal Shusterman: This is my FBOATATM (favorite book of all time at the moment). It's about three teens who have all been sent to be unwound (this procedure that basically kills you without killing you. I don't want to give it away) for different reasons. However, they all try to escape. I made my dad read this, and he was like, "OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO CREEPY." He also said it was pretty well written for a teen book. Then I made Sydney read it, and she liked it. It does have a slightly pro-life feel to it because it basically is discussing abortion, but even though I'm very much pro-choice, I felt that the underlying theme didn't get in the way of my enjoyment of the book.
• Ninteen Minues by Jodi Picoult: Jodi Picoult is pretty much awesome. This is one of my favorite books by her. It's about a school shooting and these two kids who used to be best friends, etc. I would recommend any books by Jodi Picoult, though she does have a little too much sex in her books, so if you're an extreme prude (I'm just a prude), then don't read them.
• Harry Potter by JK Rowling: Okay, not a super creepy book, but it's Harry Potter. It will go on every book list of books I recommend ever.



I also hate girly teen books (my best friends forced me to read The Truth About Forever, and I hated every moment of it), so you're pretty safe with these books if you're the anti-YA reader, even if they all have a small little romance in them, excluding Glimpse.

- EJE, who reads YA novels.

I can post on here? What? The EJE's first rant about life!

After reading other posts, I have discovered that WE CAN POST RANDOM BLOG POSTS ON HERE! Amazing, isn't it? So, I have decided that I will rant on here... I mean, fill the audience with musical information that will totally prove useful.

Have you ever attempted to write a song? It doesn't matter if it was serious or not. If you have, you'd know... IT'S REALLY HARD. I have been all angtsy and teenagerish recently because... well... I'm a teenage girl who is sad. And because I am so... awesome... I am filled with angry lyrics and I hate poetry with a passion. So what do I resort to? Banging on the piano trying to come out with something that doesn't sound like poop. And then I tried picking up my guitar to play sad songs that were already written to find that if I played a D chord, it would sound like crap. So I tuned my guitar to find it was pretty much perfect. SO I tried again, and once again, I failed. I kept thinking, "OMG how am I going to be angsty teen who puts her angry/sad/ohemgee-I-cannot-believe-you feelings into songs if I can't play a freaking D chord?!" I figured out that if I was trying to play whatever note the third fret on the B string is (which happens to be in the D chord), it would fail.

So I went back to the piano, pressed out some notes that I was able to sing, and wrote some angry lyrics. Then, I locked them away where no one can find them except for the one girl who knows my password. Now the world will never hear them, unless I become some internationally acclaimed superstar. Then I'll release my terrible song that was written because I didn't feel any angry song accurately described my sadness.

Thank you for possibly reading my rant before my group members take this down! (If they choose to.) Also, don't judge me because I can't play any instruments and I like to write crappy songs when I'm angry -.-

- The Estonian Jumping Elephant