Fanfiction makes Clyde really super happy

Yes, I confess it, I am absolutely and completely obsessed with fanfiction. For all you poor sad souls who have never heard of this hilarious phenomenon, fanfiction basically refers to fictional stories written mostly by scary adolescent girls with impressive imaginations about their favorite published stories, movies, or, even scarier, real-life Youtubers.

According to Wikipedia, people have been writing fanfiction since the beginning of time, when multiple authors would add onto the stories of iconic characters like King Arthur. This is pretty hilarious to consider, looking at the fanfiction of today, which can sometimes be...just...terrifying.

Since discovering fanfiction about a year ago, I have read hundreds of stories, mostly while procrastinating on my homeworks, and I have discovered a few patterns in the writing styles of authors.

1) First, you've got your fangirls, who insert themselves into the story so they can live out a fantasy with a fictional character, and then publish it because they think other people will enjoy reading it. A popular version of this is the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, which this example happens to be based on:
"You're so pretty Elizabeth."
"Thank you, Edward," I said as he kissed my hand.
"I'll have her back before dinner," Edward told my parents. They just nodded.
"Have fun Elizabeth," my mother said as we headed out the door. Edward walked me to his carriage and helped me in. He hopped in and nodded to the driver.
"How was your day?" he asked me.
"It was okay. But it's better now that I'm with you," I said leaning against him. He kissed my forehead and smiled.
I think I barfed a little, but whatever, no big deal.

2) And then you've got your non-english speakers (perhaps my favorite):
One day, Harry was making learnings from his Schoolbook.
"Many learnings from Book School!" say Harry, turn the page.
But suddely, Harry had learned too much from the book and made forgettings of his magics!
"Oh no!" say Harry, "Of my magics to forgetten?"
The magics made refusal to remember!
Ron and Hermione made questionings of Harry and the lost magics.
Brom made a laughing from the window.
Harry made a sitting in magic lesson, unable to perform the magics!
"I am tired of your not magics!" say Wand.
"SNAP!" shout Wand, and Wand snapped itself, because it did no want to be with a not magic!
"Oh nO!" shout Harry, "NOT A SNAPPING WAND!"
But a Snapping Wand.
[from Losing the Magics by Hans von Hozel]
....Good stuff, right there. 

3) And your creeps:
Okay, I should probably not post any of these. Just know that I have read one that had Winnie The Pooh and Edward Cullen as a couple. Also one where the giant squid and Hogwarts, as in, the building, got it on.

4) And your crazy people:
Voldemort blinked his narrow cat-like eyes. Akito thought a tear might have been forming if the Voldster had actually had the ability to produce any bodily fluids.
"I-I-I...I just haven't felt much like myself these days, I guess," You-Know-Who mused, dropping the gangstah chick act. "Ever since that pathetic revolution, I've been trying to escape myself and become something new. I haven't even killed any peeps in like four whole months! I guess I just thought some lipliner and some dissing finger snaps would fix everything, but they just don't!" he said, dissolving in loud, dry sobs.
[from Getting Along Just Marvolosly]
"And now," Rufus Scrimgeour said shakily to all of Diagon Alley, "We have Phantom of the Opera, directed by the Dark Lord and starring his many Death Eaters!"
Voldemort, much to the horror of the magical people, took the stage. "Hello fellow Magic People!" he said in his scary voice. "I have taken a temporary, yes temporary, break from trying to cause death and horror to the world to conduct this nice production of Phantom of the Opera!"
 [from What Would Happen If Voldemort Went Psycho by The Almighty Cheez It]

5) And then, of course, you've got My Immortal, which is just a whole different level altogether and you should really just read it for yourself:
 “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”
B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”
“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
“No.” My head snaped up.
‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?”

And lastly, surprisingly, you've also got your FABULOUS writers, who could probably be writing something more important then fanfiction. But, hey, that wouldn't be quite so fun to read, now would it?
Happy reading!!
Clyde

So I herd you liek books n stuff

I know. I'm terrible at fake bad-spelling. Don't mock me for my bad fake crap-spelling. (And no, I cannot physically force myself to abbreviate "you"--it's three freaking letters long. Who needs to abbreviate something that is three letters long?!)

Anyway, so, I sort of feel like cheating on this whole blogging thing tonight. Not actually cheating, I s'pose, but cheating in that I am going to be using material written previously.

So there are these things called books, right? And they've got words and things in them. Actually, almost always just words. And I read them. And then I write about them. And then other people read what I wrote about them and sometimes read the actual book. Because I am a book reviewer. This title is rather recent. Well, not really. But I think I'm more of a book reviewer now than I used to be.

Why, IBI? Why is now any different? Do you get PAID?!


No, I don't get paid. But I DO get to request books from my editor, who then mails them to me before they are released solely for the purpose of me writing about them. Which reminds me, I also have an editor. Her name is Ellen. She's pretty shnazzy.

Hopefully whoever you are reading this, you like reading enough to look at a couple books. Because I am Book Reviewer, and thus I am Opinionated and Have Suggested Titles.

For everyone:

Looking for Alaska by John Green

I am not even kidding. You ought to read this book. You can tell I am not even kidding because all of the hyperlinks around there go to Amazon and not my own review of the book. It is that good. Also, the only one that will have a picture, as I am lazy.

For people who really, really like British things:

Wonderland by Joanna Nadin. Quick synopsis: Sixteen-year-old Jude wants to get out of her small English town and go to London to study theatre, escaping both her father and the memory of her mother. Of course, she's a little scared for that, but thankfully her childhood friend has returned, spitfire Stella who is everything Jude is not. 

Beginning is a little dry, and the style screams I AM BRITISH MUAHAHAHAHA. It's not bad, but it's not really my taste. The story, though, is fantastic. The end turns everything on its head in a brilliant sort of way that I adore. Four stars. And yeah, that link does go to my proper review.

For people who want something really, really short:

Rose Sees Red by Cecil Castellucci. Set in 1983 while the Cold War rages on, teenaged Rose gives her impression on life via an entertaining story of a couple days in the life with a couple brand-new friends, including Soviet Yrena. 

A quick read, both short and fast-paced. Great characters. Interesting setting, NYC in the midst of the Cold War. Rose cares, but she's not some unapproachable current events buff. The bit about not having any friends at the very beginning is a little shaky, but that's all.  

For those looking for a historical fiction sort of read:

Ophelia by Lisa M. Klein. Basically, it's Hamlet from Ophelia's POV--

Plot of Hamlet in four minutes and two minutes, respectively.

--until then end when it gets a lot better because it's not Hamlet-but-not.

The style is pretty old-fashioned. But still comprehensible, which is a plus.

I think it's better if you haven't read Hamlet. 

But you should also read Hamlet because it is epic. And then watch the three-hour-long Royal Shakespeare Company version from '08.

Well, that's all for now. That looks lengthy enough. 

Literature-ally yours,

IBI

What? New Radiohead album?

Maybe it's old news to some of you that Radiohead released a new album on February 18th. I'm not sure how this could have slipped by, but over a month after its release, I, OMO, finally discovered The King of Limbs. While I listen to the iTunes song previews for this album (because I just bought the new Strokes CD and have no money to spend on another album), I will fill everybody in on some random facts and other information, be it factual or otherwise, regarding Radiohead.

Album art for The King of Limbs

This eight-track album is Radiohead's eighth. Their career as a band was launched in 1992 with the release of the hit song, "Creep". It was recently featured in a movie about the creation of Facebook, called The Social Network. Radiohead has become known for their soul-wrenching, electronic-ish, spacey sound.

Here is a link to their most recent website, if you wish to learn more about them. They seem to make websites on an album to album basis, but this is their current site. And if you want to seem them live, good luck, because they have no tour dates posted, as of today.

As I listen to the previews, I am noticing that the songs sound very reminiscent of past releases. Even so, from the ninety second bits of each song iTunes allows me to access, it seems as though Radiohead has taken some of their best work and melded it together, like a conglomeration of the most stirring, riveting parts of each album. It takes me back to the times when I would constantly listen to this band. I'm not sure what happened and why I stopped following releases of Radiohead so closely, but this album sounds very promising and is pretty much guaranteed to reinstate my love of their music.

Also, for all the Radiohead fans out there, if you did not know, Thom Yorke, who sings for Radiohead, released a solo album (this was a while back) that you should definitely check out if you haven't already. And, another note on websites: Yorke's website for his album, The Eraser, has the most transfixing introductory video. 

Album art for The Eraser

Take a short break from the toils of daily life and expose yourself to the dreamy music of Radiohead. Here is a music video for "Lotus Flower," one of the tracks on the new album. I absolutely love the music video that was paired with it, although I understand why some people think it is silly. The absurdity is what draws me to this video, and to Radiohead in general.

"Lotus Flower"- Radiohead

~ OMO

EJE is a copycat!

(I am copying IBI.)

DEAR FOREIGNERS,

Please comment on some posts of ours, because I think it's totally awesome that we have foreign readers :) Even if you clicked "Next Blog" and ended up on our page, comment on something, like this post. We would definitely appreciate it :) Or comment on IBI's blog post below, because I am a copycat and was surprised so I wanted to post too.

Also, who are our German stalkers?! This is just from TODAY....

- EJE

Talk to us, Germany.

International users--who are you? How did you find us? What is it exactly that makes you so friggin' awesome?

Please comment.

Because as Americans we find you much more interesting than most everyone else here.

A message from the VINYL staff.

(By which I mean IBI.)

IBI's Official Stance on "Friday"

Indie Music... From Sweden?

I love foreign music. Also, because I am SUCH a hipster (BAHAHAHAHAHAHA), I like indie music. And because I'm an even BIGGER hipster (teehee), I like indie music from foreign countries. My latest prey?

After being asked on this website that I read if I liked Swedish underground folk music (after claiming that I liked most genres, and I would like to be challenged so I can discover more music), I went to Wikipedia for musical suggestions. There, I learned of a Mr. José Gonzáles, a folk musician from Sweden that is of Argentinian decent. After wandering around wikipedia for a little while longer, I found "Taken By Tress," the solo project of Victoria Bergsman, former lead singer of The Concretes.

I was very surprised when I went and listened to Taken By Trees because she sings in English, as do most Swedish artists, apparently. Here are two of the songs that I like. They aren't the best lyrics, but I like the style of music and her voice that come from this wonderful country.

You may not like them all that much... but I'm a hipster so I do.

LOVE,

The Swedish Estonian Jumping Elephant

Torchwood

Two things I promise now:

1. Torchwood can be connected in a relevant manner to a music and art magazine.
2. Torchwood isn't entirely full of suck. It does have some redeeming factors. 
3. And a third, three for the price of two--This post is at a Doctor Who-appropriateness level, not a Torchwood level.

Alrighty then.

For those of you who don't know, Torchwood is a spinoff series of Doctor Who. If you don't know what Doctor Who is... Just... Just Google it... And don't tell me... It would be mean to ruin someone's day that way.

Also for those of you who don't know,

≠

Isn't that a lovely logo. The Torchwood one, I mean. Everybody knows the Doctor Who logo is beautiful.

The best explanation of the differences I've been able to formulate:
Doctor Who - The Doctor + more companions, sex and guns = Torchwood

It's lots of sex and aliens. And guns.

But. It also has had a surprisingly good response from critics!

Okay, so maybe that's a lie. Mostly it had a surprisingly good response from fans, who are really the only thing that is keeping the series going*. It's sort of amazing, the power of a fan base, especially one on the scale of the Doctor Who fandom.

I did find one particularly positive review, though! The... The Daily Record (I assume they're a British paper, though I've never heard of them--maybe they're something like the Telegraph) said of it, "the show is truly fabulous. John Barrowman is first-class as Jack, while the whole set up of characters should lend itself to some great adventures. A two thumbs up, five-star, 10 out of 10, gold-encrusted hit".

Isn't that lovely.

(It got better reviews as it bravely put-put-putted along.)

But but but it also some important themes and questions, such as making difficult choices and homosexuality; who deserves to live and who gets to choose; trust and death and everything in between. If you look hard enough, it's in there!

More importantly, it has some great music featured. (Told you I could make it connect.)

Credit goes to torchwoodguide.co.uk for lists of featured music for every episode (also, all of the times something logic fails and a series known as "Captain Jack's Large Weapon").

Anyway. Torchwood music, a splattering from across the series, including some that's actually on the soundtrack (thought not necessarily my favourites which I couldn't find on demand) and thus isn't nearly as fun to hear randomly in the middle of the show**. Have fun.

Scientifically yours,
IBI









We love you, Owen! And by "we" I mean mostly myself, as everyone else thinks you're an asshole and Jack's theme is a million times more badass!







*Seriously, not even kidding--it's the great ratings in a graveyard slot that have Torchwood running a fourth season. It's primarily set in Los Angeles. I'm not going to comment on that. Except to go cry in a corner about why they had to blow up the fabulous building in Cardiff, because even Cardiff, Wales is better than setting the show in Los Angeles. 
**Though not as distracting as suddenly realising, "I know this song!" when they're in a bar and pausing to make sure iTunes or Pandora or whatever isn't playing just to go, "Woah, it's MUSIC in a TV SHOW!" and I'll stop rambling now.

Free early shows rock

Like many other Austinites and touristy folks, I was very eager to listen to some music at SXSW this year. However, my mom is predisposed to hating SXSW purely because of the thousands of visitors that pour into Austin annually. Fortunately, my dad was willing to take me to see a few bands. 

We left the house at 8:00 in the morning, headed for the free KUT-sponsored shows at the fancy Hilton hotel in downtown Austin. When we arrived, we found a small stage surrounded by about thirty cushioned chairs. It was thirty minutes before the first band was scheduled to play, and only three chairs were occupied (Interestingly enough, I found my sixth grade English teacher seated in one of these chairs.) These early shows are obviously not for the people who like to stay out late partying and head-banging to the sound of grinding guitars and crashing drums.

The first performer, singer/songwriter Bobby Long, played at an eye-opening (or maybe eye-closing) 9:00 am. He just released his debut album in February, and is visiting Austin from his current location in NYC.  I really enjoyed Long's music and have been listening to it in various YouTube videos constantly since (I've yet to purchase the album, titled A Winter Tale.). Watching him perform was priceless. Long is very expressive while singing and his guitar-playing was absolutely amazing.

Bobby Long, performing "Dead and Done."

Also, about the videos: I'm a total amateur with video cameras. A) This was probably the first time I've used one. So, I apologize for shakiness and everything else, B) I did not have a tripod, and, being seated in the second row, had to hold my camera above the fat heads of the people in the first row and C) There was a very large speaker blocking part of the stage, so for the next two bands, I was unable to film both band members well. Again, sorry. But hey, at least you can hear the music!

The second band, The Old 97's, was extremely energetic. I enjoyed watching them because the fun they were having while performing traveled from their music to the audience (though we were all tamely seated). I recorded a video of their performance of "Time Bomb," which will hopefully be attached below.

The Old 97's performing "Time Bomb."

Tristen, the third band to perform at the Hilton, was a great finale for the morning music. Though more subdued than the Old 97's (who obviously don't understand the concept of apostrophes not making things plural), Tristen was just as enthralling as Bobby Long. The band recently released its debut album in February as well. It's titled Charlatans at the Garden Gate, and I'll provide a link to the band's website here. Below is a video of Tristen performing "Heart and Hope to Die."

Tristen performing "Heart and Hope to Die."

~ OMO      

Strangest Children's Books EVER!

I was perusing the musty shelves of Half Price Books about a year ago when I came across a very orange, very weird book that caught my attention. On the cover, were the famed Dick and Jane, but this wasn't just any "See Spot run!" type of book. No, the title was "Yiddish With Dick and Jane".

The book teaches children such important words as "schmooze" "kvetch" and "fress". Watch as Dick schmoozes with his boss! See Dick schmooze. Schmooze, Dick, schmooze! There were clearly lots of drugs and adultery going on in this book, but none of the personality-free characters seemed to notice anything strange around them. Told in a very ironic voice, making it clear that everyone in the story seemed to be brainwashed, this book had me lollin' all day long.

Okay, so it was pretty clear that this "children's" book should not be given to any children, but it made me wonder. What kind of creepy children's books are out there? So, of course I Googled it and came up with THIS LIST and also THIS ONE, which includes such gems as "Who Cares About Disabled People?" and "Cooking with Pooh" (just think about it for a while...yeah.)

Anyway, now I am severely disturbed, so I thought I would share it with you!! You are ever so welcome.

-Clyde

EJE is one excited chica!

Oh. My. God.

Like, seriously.
OH MY GOD.

So I emailed Bombay Bicycle Club last night so I can interview them... AND THEY SAID YES!! Even though it's going to be over email, I'm still interviewing them. This'll be so awesome!!

Also, I just checked my email.
...
I GOT INTO BROWN SUMMER PROGRAMS!!! I still need to see if I get a scholarship or not, but I got in!! Which means I can go beg my grandparents for money. I'm so excited!!

Also, here is my actual blog post. I went to go see Bombay Bicycle Club at their concert at Red House Pizzeria. It was pretty awesome.

My CD signed by 3/4 (Ed Nash was no where to be found D:)

Jack Steadman, the lead singer of the band.

Me with Jamie MacColl (guitarist and backing vocals) and Suren de Saram (drummer).

Three of the four, Ed Nash (bassist) was missing.

Me with Jack Steadman :D

He's cute :)

D'awwwww

- EJE ♥

PEOPLE!

I would like to remind you that we are currently churning out our advice column on our good old Vinyl Advice Blog.  

So you should totes check that out! And don't forget to submit your questions to vinylstaff@gmail.com

We will answer anything!

Seriously, you guys...

ANYTHING.

Okay, most things, but, you know.

irrelephant

SXSW and FREE MUSIC

South by is here. And with it, tens of thousands of extra people flooding downtown, and COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF MUSIC.

I cannot tell you how broke I want to be by the end of this week, mostly from spending all my money on busses, trailer food, music and possibly the occasional pedicap, if my feet are really killing me.

In hopes that not everyone will go broke, however (or may go broke all the faster), I have set out to compile some Free Music.

No promises on quality. I don't think I'd include anything that awful, but, well, some of it is just funny, and everyone has different tastes and all.

First up, some from Paper Garden Records. They've got seven and a half hours of free music the 17th and 18th with RSVP (can't find if it's all ages, but it is sort of a wine bar--bring an adult).

Pretty folky, chill stuff. Step above coffeehouse music. But it is also free.

The Lovely Hearts Club SXSW 2011 Mixtape by Paper Garden Records

Next, a step up on the scale. Intercept has a pretty freaking awesome website, which, more importantly, has a free download link for a song.

This song, in fact.



Also, it has a line about London in it. Which automatically means it wins just a bit more.

Get the free single here (might have to close the banner--congrats, Camilla Luddington, whoever you are!).

And last but certainly not least for this evening's post, a lovely little band I found which I will definitely need to stalk this coming weekend... The Bloody Irish Boys.






They, I think, rank as at least two steps above Intercept on the sliding scale of screaming.

Get some music here, I s'pose, if you want*.


Musically yours,
IBI




*Never play it in my presence or I will bloody kill you. This is a joke, ya'hear?

In which I talk at some length about COFFEE

This blog post comes to you in three parts, one in which I talk a bit about myself, one in which I talk about coffee, and one in which I talk about current events.

PART THE FIRST, in which I give an introduction

I am a relatively easy person to please. I like people, to an extent that some might find rather odd in that I rarely DISlike people. The same sort of thing goes for movies and hot drinks. As such, I am a pretty bad critic of everything except perhaps books. (Except that there are a fair amount of hot drinks that I dislike. But it's an overwhelming minority.)

I like chai and sample it wherever I can get it (Corner Bakery in Chicago sells chai out of a multi-gallon jug, and yes, if you are reading this, I reiterate that this is worse than a single-gallon pitcher, which is to say it is really, really terrible--so terrible that for the rest of the weekend I would feel a little sick when I heard someone ordering it). I drink copious amounts of hot chocolate. I'm a little picky about my tea.

Coffee, though, is GOD. At one point in my life, I got up to three cups of coffee daily (thank you, NaNoWriMo). I have had coffee that cost six dollars, I have had coffee that was free. I have had instant coffee and coffee from a French press and coffee from various chains and coffee from not-chains and lots of coffee that I made at home in a variety of different styles of coffee makers.

And I still feel I know nothing about coffee. Seriously. Because, remember, I don't DISlike a lot of hot drinks. I am not a connoisseur of coffee. I cannot comment on what makes good coffee and what makes bad coffee.

Today, however, I inadvertently ended up on something of a quest to find out what good coffee is, and really what coffee is at all.

PART THE SECOND, in which I educate yo selves about coffee

None of this I knew before today, which is why I am telling it to you now, as it makes me feel Informed&Intelligent, and also it is just pretty friggin' interesting, as a certain astronomy teacher might say.

A big, beautiful Coffea arabica tree in sunny Brazil.

This is a coffee tree. I don't know what I thought coffee grew on before, but somehow I didn't think it grew on a big bush-looking tree thing like this.

Perhaps I thought coffee beans were, you know, beans. But no. They're not. They're seeds. You see the little red specks on that tree? Those are coffee berries.

Coffee berries.

Inside the berries are the coffee beans. Apparently, you can also eat the berries and the leaves of the plant. Who knew.

Coffea arabica is the "good" sort of coffee tree, which is to say apparently this sort of tree makes better coffee than other trees. 

Unfortunately, it is also, as Mr Taylor Clark called it in the New York Times today, "A finicky diva of a plant". If it is below 4,000 feet elevation, if it gets slightly less than four inches of rain, if the temperature deviates too far from a balmy 68 degrees Fahrenheit, it could just up and die. 

The market is finicky as well. Nine years ago, farmers were being told to stop growing coffee because demand was so low, crushing millions of pounds into fertiliser. Prices had fallen to $0.48 a pound (the fair market price, at which farmers can eat and all, is well over a dollar). 

Today, prices are about eight times that.

The thing about coffee, though, is that it's ridiculously difficult to try and follow the capitalist supply/demand route, as it takes four years for the coffee plants to mature. So if a farmer plants his plot of extra coffee now because it's selling like crazy, it'll be four years before his investment comes back--and who knows what demand will be like in four years. Or whether the bloody plant will even live that long.

So then you end up with stuff like we've got now. The possibility of (I dearly hope you're sitting down now) A SHORTAGE OF COFFEE. (Told you so.)

PART THE THIRD, in which I talk about dire possibilities of the present and future and also Starbucks

Coffee, as most people are probably quite aware, is frequently rather expensive. And it is getting worse.

See, people are fearing we may have hit "peak coffee". If this reminds you of the term "peak oil", it is because they are essentially the same thing, except that one is talking about a plant and one is talking about a nonrenewable resource that takes millions of years to form beneath the Earth's surface.

Yields are declining. Because of global warming, diseases are beginning to become more prominent, and heavier rainfall can ruin crops. Prices are on the rise.

All may not be lost. Coffee is a ridiculously finicky plant, perhaps it's just in an angsty mood. It's probably not time yet to start stockpiling Arabica beans.

At the same time... It might be wise to think twice before the caffeine addiction starts setting in around finals. 

Shakily yours,

IBI

Pictures are from Wikipedia. Facts are either from this very interesting conglomeration of opinion pieces on the New York Times' Room for Debate, or this Science article.

OH MY GOD.

I, EJE, am very excited. Like, I think if John Lennon came back from the dead, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now (mostly because that would we very scary). My second favorite band (BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB!) is coming to Austin, and I was so sad because I thought they were only playing at SXSW...

BUT THEY AREN'T!!!

Bombay Bicycle Club (or BBC) is playing at the Red House Pizzeria on March 18th, 2011 at 7 pm, and I am going. AHHH!!! I might also become a crazy stalking fan girl and go to their hotel (because they're playing there, and the San Jose hotel). YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Sincerely,
EJE, who ♥'s BBC.

Sexy from left to right: Suren de Saram, Jamie MacColl ♥, Jack Steadman, and Ed Nash

One of my favorite songs.

So what's happening March 22?

This is going to be my first weekly rambling. This week, it happens to be vaguely related to The Strokes. If I am able, I will attempt to connect the end of my rambling to the beginning, but I may or may not be successful. So, to begin, March 22 is the release date of ANGLES!

Many people believe that the Strokes will be hard-pressed to live up to the legacy left behind by Is This It and Room on Fire, but from various clips I've seen, it appears to possess the same sort of strokiness (The only reason this would be valuable information at all is if anyone doubts the consistency of the band members' identities).

I personally don't think albums should be judged by how much "better" they are compared to previous albums. New albums dabble in bits of the unknown because musicians can't be successful if they continue recycling the vibes of old albums. It would create a stagnant pool of music if musicians tried to make new albums as similar to previously released ones as possible. In an interview with the British magazine, Fashion Music Style, Simon Neil of the Scottish band Biffy Clyro, says "I would rather that [our fans] hated Only Revolutions or Puzzle than we try to re-make an old album," in reference to two of the band's albums.

Photo credit: ClashMusic

A lot of really great albums result from experimenting with new techniques without regard for how fans will react. To wrap up this rambling by talking about the Strokes again, I'll first tell you to check out Julian Casablancas' (the Strokes' vocalist) debut solo album, Phrazes for the Young, because it is ridiculously great.

And second, comment if you saw the Strokes at ACL last year, because though I was there, I'm not really sure what to think about Julian Casablancas, who was wearing sunglasses after the sun set and could not see past the front of the stage..

~ OMO

Also - Here's a video of the single they've already released from the album.

EJE's First Blog Post!

Hipsters: "Someone who tries to be original but fails."

This is my definition, at least. Most people would probably define a hipster as someone who hates anything mainstream, from music to fashion. But this style of, well, person, has now become mainstream, which is the irony in it. Hipsters can't acknowledge that they're hipsters, because then they're acknowledging that they're mainstream and popular. AH! SO CONFUSING!

Personally, I find this style rather annoying. Sure, there's some great unknown music, but there's also some fantastic popular music. You can't write off all popular music, because generally... there's a reason it's popular. This is just as stupid as saying you hate pop music because you hate Justin Bieber, or that you'll never read a book written by a woman because it'll suck (yes, I've heard someone say this, and it was a GIRL who said it). As a fan of some popular music and some indie music (The Beatles and Bombay Bicycle Club are two of my favorite bands, the former being one of the most popular bands of all time* and the latter being an unknown band from England), and all genres, I think that all kinds of music are valuable**. You shouldn't say you don't like something until you've seen a good enough selection of it.

Also, you shouldn't dress like this:

 A classic hipster, with classic hipster glasses.
Photo credz to PJ Gallagher/Chromewavesdotorg on Flickr.

Sincerely,
EJE

* See my article "Roll Over Beethover, The Beatles Are Here" in our upcoming spring issue.
** See Clyde's article "Rage Against The Machine" which talks about why all kinds of music are valid forms of music.

Clyde reviews her beautiful new baby, the Canon Rebel XS

I recently acquired a brand spankin' new camera and I thought I would review it, show you some pictures I took with it and share with you how very much I love it. If you do not enjoy lengthy rants about technology that are verging on love poem-level creepiness, you might want to not read this.

So, first of all: LIGHT. This camera is just meant to make light look amazing. I mean, look at this lovely glow. Did it look like that in real life? Uh, NO.

               

It also makes color look really, really nice.

When the camera is on it's macro setting (It has settings for practically everything...whee!) it can get very close to the subject without blurring. This is awesome because you can take macro shots without using a special lens. 

It's usually set on an automatic shutter speed to make the photos not turn out blurry, but if you put it on manual, you can control the shutter speed and take photos with interesting blurs.

The focus is easy to use, so you can focus on different subjects in your pictures and switch between background/foreground. Huzzah!

 

You can set it on everything from 18mm-55mm, so you can take fish eye shots or wide ones.

So, uh, yeah. Pretty freakin' amazing. I mean, there are things I don't like, like the fact that there are only three light settings: dark, normal, and bright. And...okay, actually that's it. I told you I have an affinity for it that should not be applied to inanimate objects! Oh well, now to go sit in my room, stroking it and growling to myself...

-Clyde

Clyde rants about Facebook "like" pages

So, Facebook has this really fantastic feature where you can "like" things that other people post, thinking that it is funny or witty or deep or some such nonsense.. This feature is so fantastic not because the people who post are successful in their quest to be interesting, but because they are so very, very unsuccessful. Not only are the names of these "like"-able things amusingly narcississtic, but THE GRAMMAR! Oh, THE GRAMMAR! For someone who is really creepily obsessed with grammar, things like this are extremely funny to read. For example:

<3 Well sad Storii <3

boi: hey wil u go out wif mii? x

gurl: i cant rite nw cos i luff sum1

boi: omg who il beat him up

gurl: noo u cant cos i dnt want u hurt x

boi:h no w cos i can kil him. 4 u

gurl: den u wood kil urself 4 me :/ :/ x

boi: yea (kils himelsf)

LIKE IF U R AGANSTE TERORISMS

I took the liberty of highlighting all the spelling and grammar mistakes for you. You are so welcome! But, there are so many MORE things wrong with this. First of all, why would the girl say she can't go out with the boy because she loves "some1" when the "some1" is HIM? And what boy says OMG? And why would he think that killing someone she loves would make her like him instead? And are the x's at the end meant to represent affection? WHY? And why is he killing himself for no reason? AND WHAT DOES IT ALL HAVE TO DO WITH TERRORISM?


Okay, I'm sure you want to read some more, so here are some of my other favorite "sad storiiis".

''SAD STORIII!!!

boi: happey vielsentines dai bebebey!!1 (hands her sum chocliets)

girl: yum (eateses choclieties)

boi: do u lik thiem??

girl: yeh but is am illergik 2 chocilets

boi: y didnt u tell miii!?!??///

girl: cus i larve yu

boi: u gon 2 beh okai????

girl: no (deis)

LIK IF YU CRYED''

REALI SAD STORI

boi:hey bbe whats up i love u

girl: em hu r u

boi: wat

*TURNS OUT GIRL HAZ AMNEZIA*

boi: (diez from heartbrake) :(

like if u cant stop cryn n can barely c da screen x

Do you have any favorite Facebook "like" pages? Post 'em in the comments, please!

Pictures!

So, EJE was bored, and decided to make pictures of each of the group members. They may not accurately represent the person, but they look cool. So suck it up :)

Advice Coming Soon!

Dear readers,

We have written half the answers to the questions for our advice column! IBI and OMO have been falling slightly behind, but as soon as they are done, we'll post them on our blog Vinyl Advice, and once a week, we'll take a problem off there and put it on this blog.

Thanks,

VINYL Staff

PS. The words "Vinyl Advice" form a link.