NB: I haven't actually transcribed my interview all the way through, so these quotes might not be exactly worded. That'll be fixed in a couple days at the latest.
One--descriptive
There's always music playing in Waterloo Records, at just the right level for listening, loud enough so you can't hear the other shoppers and quiet enough to concentrate. Four employees stand near the cash registers, chatting while their eyes casually follow the few customers milling about, working their way through the near-endless rows of CDs and LPs. The air is lightly scented with the smell of vinyl, new and old. It's a music fan's nirvana.
"I've wanted this job since I was a teenager," Matt says, scanning the store fondly. Now in his thirties, Matt is the manager of Waterloo Records.
King Street East at Ontario
Two--descriptive also
All of Waterloo Records is divided into two parts.
Wander through door, the logo hand-painted onto the glass. In one half of the store, rows and rows of CDs sit with their titles exposed. Pieces of blue paper flag employee picks with hand-written descriptions and recommendations. On the other, rows of LPs rest in their dust covers. Some sit in racks, some in bins. The smell of vinyl compliments the music pipped throughout the store. It's a homey sort of place, especially to the music lovers who have flocked the store since it opened in '82.
Sherbourne Queen Pedestrians Crossing
Three--direct quote
"Nirvana played here, too, over where the cash registers are. It was packed." Matt, a thirty-something-year-old music fanatic and manager of Waterloo Records, indicates a corner of the store with a wave. It's easy to see he loves his store as much as the music collection it contains. Rows upon rows of CDs and LPs sit arranged by genre, artist, employee preference and price, creating a maze of music punctuated with DVDs, hats, and kitchen utensils shaped like guitars. Music and the scent of vinyl fill the air, while music lovers are scattered across the floor.
Adelaide Princess
So yeah. Comment or whatever.
'Kay thanks bye.
Literaturely yours,
IBI
I like the first one, it appeals to my sense of hearing. The third lead would probably be nice as a section later in the paper, but it doesn't really seem like the beginning of a story.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely the first! You do a great job of describing the scene and really making it seem like a paradise. The quote also compliments the paragraph before it very well.
ReplyDelete-Clyde
That was OMO, who forgot to sign her comment.
ReplyDelete~ OMO
I like the second one more. It introduces it more as a topic based in my opinion, and just seems to work better. I think.
ReplyDelete- EJE
1st. It speaks out to me more.
ReplyDelete-yahir
I really like the first, too, although I also enjoyed your description of the store in the 2nd. Perhaps you could work those details (about Waterloo's environment) into your story somewhere else?
ReplyDelete- Mrs. Young
number 1, it appeals to the senses
ReplyDeletedaniel
i like the third one, actually... I think it sets up the scene really nicely.
ReplyDelete-ishaan
ReplyDeleteThe first lead probably works the best.
ReplyDelete--
Quaver from Aux Cable (AS)
the first one!! I looooveee it! (and I love you! TWINSIEZZ!)
ReplyDeletebut really. the first one is fantasical.
<3 nat
I like #1 the best. It really pulls me in to reading the whole story.
ReplyDelete-Fly on the Wall
I like the third one the most. It catches my attention a lot more than the first two. By the way, I really like the pictures, they seem really effective for some reason...
ReplyDelete-Juumbie