ONE - descriptive: Sunlight spills in from the windows, illuminating the otherwise dark room. An earthy-toned painting of a cup rests above the sofa, hanging simply without a frame. It is mid-day, and the house is bustling with activity. A young boy cantankerously enjoys his Star Wars video-game, leaping around the living room with a game controller. Outside, a man in his thirties bends over a green Toyota, intently repairing it. A metal garden frog calmly regards his endeavors from the grassy lawn. This is the home of marketing director Christina Bennett, who manages the advertising and communications aspects of the Austin-based company, Survey and Mapping (SAM).
TWO - sort of descriptive, sort of my last resort: Christina Bennett must create. She says, "I discovered that making things is like a critical component to my well-being, to being happy in myself and what I do." As the marketing director at an Austin-based surveying company, she is responsible for making sure their clients are content. But at home, she has more freedom to produce whatever she wishes.
THREE - narrative-ish: She designs, she creates, and she...manages the marketing department of a surveying company? Christina Bennett graduated from the design program at UT, intending to work as designer. Somehow, life has led her astray from her semi-original intention. But she's cool with that. Christina thoughtfully remarked, "I mean, if I had to do it all over again, I would still do the exact same thing I did, even though I’m not a graphic designer or an art director..."
~ OMO
I definitely like the first one the best. The description is nice.
ReplyDelete~KG
I also like the first one best. It just sounds pretty and whimsical. Nice use of the word cantankerous!!!
ReplyDelete-Clyde
I actually don't prefer the first. It seems too off-topic. I like the second one more.
ReplyDelete- EJE
The 1st seems to lead me into something else. It's talking about a boy then a man and then a designer. I prefer the last one. The question type of sentence at beginning was good.
ReplyDelete-Yahir
I like number one the most but be careful that you don't go overboard with description and lead people to believe that your talking about the wrong topic.
ReplyDeletedaniel
Number one sets up the scene well, but I agree with Daniel, you're going overboard with the descriptive language. I don't even know what cantankerous means. You're trying too hard :) Just tone it down and you'll have a solid lead
ReplyDeleteThe second and third leads don't have strong enough quotes. I'd recommend the first lead.
ReplyDelete--
Quaver of Aux Cable (AS)
the first lead is good, just don't go off topic :3
ReplyDelete-nat
I think you need to be more clear on all of the leads. I didn't know what they were about until the last sentence of the third lead.
ReplyDelete-Fly on the Wall
I like two--one goes on and on for a while.
ReplyDelete--IBI
I definitely like the first one the best, it seems most interesting.
ReplyDelete-Juumbie